Dreams

Last night I dreamt of some random event that made me so emotional when I woke up.

I don’t know if you believe what your dreams show you or if you think it is just some random thoughts that come into mind. To me, I am a total dream believer. I believe our dreams display what our inner heart really desires. Sometimes, dreaming gives me the inspiration to do something that I don’t usually do, such as writing poems, etc.

I remember how my mom used to tell me that, when you dream of someone who’s already dead, it is because their spirits came back to find you. Not to creep you out in anyway. Writing this actually makes me have Goosebumps all over. Also, if you dream of someone who’s not dead, you are actually missing that someone. Yes, I somehow have a lot of faith in the accuracy of this saying.

Coming back to what I dreamt about yesterday, trust me it is something weird. It is about me finally being able to get together with Lindsey, the girl I really like. We did what normal couples would do, such as cuddling up, holding hands, me kissing her forehead, basically things that are sweet. Nothing obscene. THIS IS NOT A WET DREAM.

Then suddenly I had this gut feeling that our room, we were in an apartment, was being spied on. Somehow we started running and at some point, we got separated. That is when I realized those people were after me and not her. There were four of them, random people. When I got caught, they started explaining to me why they were there to get me. All of them shared the same reason, saying that I was to be blamed for the death of someone dearest to them.

I was imprisoned at some random place. What made me so emotional was when I started scribbling Lindsey’s name on this piece of paper and I cried and cried and cried and cried for how I couldn’t see her again and how dearly I missed her. That sorrow felt so real, knowing that I was lying on bed all tired and half asleep (that sadness woke me up), I fear that tears would start rolling down the side of my cheek. It felt as though my heart had been punctured and it is now tearing in blood.

I am bad at explaining things but it is just plain sad. So sad that after I woke up, I feel sad thinking about it.

I am sorry if I think about you too much. I am sorry if I come off as annoying to you. I am sorry if you don’t want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you. I am sorry if I seem desperate to reconnect with you. I am sorry if I am constantly bothering you. I am sorry if I there is anything that I have done wrong to hurt you. I am sorry because it is just me missing you TOO MUCH.

But, because I am trying hard not to show it, it is starting to hurt me slowly inside … Cry out loud…