Extreme Paranoia

Every time  when you were bundled up by troubles,

I could only gaze from afar,

Watching you tear,

Being helpless.

It has always been like that,

Ever since the first time I see the troubled you with my very own eyes.

Am I being too sensitive?

Or am I a coward who couldn’t afford a smack in his cheek?

Every time when I was just about to approach,

To console you,

To soothe you,

I doubted for a second,

Contemplating about the choice that I was about to make.

And every now and then,

I tried to brave myself up,

Making the first step,

To achieve something that I’m not good at.

Often,

It ended up with a big “Shut Up”,

That made me realize how foolish I was,

Because all my efforts were not only futile,

But it had only made matters worse.

Often,

I tried to brighten you up when you were gloomy,

But deep down in my heart,

I never fail to remind myself that I’m a failure.

I always know that what I was about to say would do more harm than good,

But I tried my best to make you smile again,

Somehow, I just failed like always.

As useless as I am,

The only progressive thing I could do is nothing,

But to take a few steps back,

Worried and agitated as you broke down into tears.

Never have I stopped thinking,

Of solutions to excavate a smile out of you,

Because with just a smile,

A day you made for me,

As that Angelic smile of yours,

Is undoubtedly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

No matter what awaits you in the future,

More troubles or most preferably serenity,

I would always hope the best for you,

So that every problem of yours could you defeat,

And you’ll smile once again,

An Angel you then will be,

In my satisfying little own eyes.

An Indelible Dream

It was during a round-table chat when a girl named S raised up her tiny palm and swore. She swore to go against all odds and would go all out to care for me even when the whole universe is against us. Her sincere promise touched the deepest corner of my heart. 

I made a hasty decision to give S a shot, not wanting to disappoint her. However, this step taken was a definite mistake. My growing affection towards C gave my heart inexorable stabs, having to think that this move to patch up with S might hurt C’s feeling if she finds out.

Fortunately enough, this incident fell directly on the day where C has no class, Monday. Before anything could go any further, I decided to draw a clear line between me and S. This well-thought decision to put a halt to the relationship between me and S happened on the very same day we got together and dated, Monday.

However, this rather cruel move that would be heart-breaking for S hinders me from making my first move to set a barrier between us. In addition, the thinking of E breaking up with his girlfriend in less than a day made up my mind to give S an additional day with me.

Coincidently, C came all the way to college that day for some event that was to be held in the afternoon. Having lunch together with C and S, I was literally shivering inside, hoping desperately that S would not disclose our newly bonded relationship. She didn’t.

Later, S and I met up with J, who was S’s ex-boyfriend. J managed to grab some time off with me and we chatted. In his extremely low husky tone, I sensed some hatred. I tried to talk him out of it but could not. The thought of S breaking up with him just for me couldn’t stop bothering him. I gave up.

After all the drama with J, S and I was out dating in a shopping mall. S was enjoying and savoring every moment when we were together. Me, on the other hand, couldn’t get C out of my mind. My heart was thumping on my lungs every single second I was with S, it was as though I have committed adultery. In fact, I have not even gone into any kind of special relationship with C.

Before the day came to an end, the pressure on me was so tremendous that I was almost being squashed into a unicellular organism. Couldn’t take it no more, I turned to S. Instead of giving her a goodbye kiss, I proposed a break up. Our relationship ended in front of S’s house that day. S broke down into tears and I was drenched in guilt, watching her tear.

Lesson Learnt :

1. Never rush into any relationships because it might hurt someone. 
2. Appreciate what you’ve got and not to demand for more.
3. Love C more. (:

Missing Presence?

Was it under the broadest daylight?

Or was it during the darkest night?

A self-proclaimed knight I am,

Keeping little images of you in my little RAM.

Ambling down the bustling roadside,

A lot of ridiculous laws to abide,

There is one thing I would never hide,

The wish to always have you by my side.

Experiencing the city life,

Where swine flu is beginning to be rife,

If something happens that’s beyond our might,

If it were for you, I would definitely fight.

Now that I’ve returned,

The Papers of Distance slowly burn.

Bringing up the warmth and heat,

As one, our hearts together beat.

Written With Love,

Sean

Love at First Sight - or Is It?

Another guest post by Desmond Ong -- probably the greatest guy on Earth besides Barack Obama...and well, David Beckham. *wink*

So, do you have those moments when you see that cun-ted girl or guy across the street that you know fall in love just at the first sight? Ever wonder how it happens? No, it's no cupid. It's more to chemistry and physics. ;-)

Disclaimer : This theory has yet to be proven yet as there is still some manipulated variables that have been affecting this theory.


Have you ever understand the word "falling in love"? Is it just that simple? Two arrows by the Cupid? Or time spent to understand each other? Is it really that simple?

A research from I dunno where said otherwise. It is believed there is no such thing as "love at first sight". Human bodies emit a strange wave called the infrared. Infrared is emitted from human bodies because of the human body temperature. Emission of heat energy causes the release of infrared waves from the bodies.

Infrared waves travel no more than a few meters away. When two similar infrared waves meet each other, the two waves will cause a special effect on the sources of the waves -- the human bodies.

For example, let's assume that Rory is the man and Fiona is the woman. Rory was waiting for the cab right in front of tens of thousands of people crossing by Times Square, Manhattan when he spotted someone that he knows instantly that that someone could be his love of his life.

That someone is Fiona, who never meet Rory before.

Let's look at this from another person's view. There are figuratively tens of thousands of people out there, but why did Rory only got attracted by Fiona? The answer lies in infrared waves.

Some researchers believe strongly that when two near-similar infrared collides, the sources of the infrared waves will be tie into an immediate bond. That's how love at first sight happens.

However, this might sounds like an "Awwww...." moment for the beautiful ladies out there who are still with me to this point, the human bodies' infrared waves CAN subject to changes. Should it change even a small amount of frequencies, the love between the couple will be shatter -- almost instantly.

This might sounds like a bullshit, but it does make sense if you think about it. Bullshit or not, your call.

Random Love Impression

I have this habit of relating something to someone I love or like very much but the reasons seem blurred.

Maybe it’s a first impression thingy but what’s weird is that that happen to non others than the crushes I had.

First Crush – Purple Color. I can’t figure out how did I even associated the color purple with her, but whenever I see purple, I think of her.

Second Crush – Disturbia by Rihanna. This song can really disturb my mind, evoking thoughts and memories of her along with the beating of the rhythm. Third Crush – Crush by David Archuleta and One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks. Realize how those two songs are related to each other and sharing something in common – sang by American Idol’s *contestants. But that has got nothing to do with how those were bonded to her. Actually there’s more, but I think that’s enough.

 

 

 

 

Four Crush – Poker Face by Lady GaGa. Haha. Wonder why as well.

In short, 75% of my crushes are associated with songs. (: That’s something random to share. 

Are you in any ways similar to me? 

The Scale that Measures Girls

This is a guest post by Desmond Ong - a truly magnificent guy next door.

The theory of evolution alleges that humans evolved from monkeys. If we accept this “theory,” then we must also accept that over the course of millions of years, women have become more attractive, less hairy and infinitely crazier.

The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life.

Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Barnabus Stinson comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale.
1. You’re walking down the street and see Matt Damon. You:

a: Gawk from afar and let him pass unbothered.
b: Run up to him and beg to have his babies.
c: Stab him with a pen.

2. You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off. You:

a: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and do a random act of kindness.
b: Hold down your horn and scream obscenities.
c: Stab him with his own broken windshield wiper.

3. You see a kitten stuck in a tree. You:

a: Call the fire department and wait for professional help.
b: Climb up and rescue it, then take it home to join the 125 other cats you currently care for.
c: Stab it with a tree branch.

4. You’re on a date with a fellow and it’s not going well. You:

a: Explain to him you’re just not compatible and offer to split the check.
b: Start a small fire in the ladies’ bathroom thus evacuating the restaurant and ending your date.
c: Finish your decadent five-course dinner, then stab him with a lobster claw.

5. Your boss makes a pass at you. You:

a: Report it to human resources.
b: Go for it, then blackmail him for the rest of his natural life.
c: Stab him with his tie.

6. The barista screws up your double skim, half café, no sugar added caramel macchiato. You:

a: Drink whatever she gives you, so as to not create a scene.
b: Throw the scalding hot beverage into the barista’s face.
c: Stab her with a coffee cup.

7. It’s Christmas, a time of giving, charity, and joy. One of the Salvation Army Santa’s won’t stop ringing the bell in front of your apartment. You:

a: Thank him for doing the Lord’s work and give generously.
b: Tar and feather him from your fifth floor balcony.
c: Stab him with his bell, then steal his bucket.

8. Your grandparents are in town visiting. You:

a: Happily show them around town taking extra special care of them.
b: Berate them for the measly 12 bucks they gave you on last year’s birthday.
c: Stab them with their dentures.

9. You find a wallet in the middle of the street. You:

a: Locate the wallet’s owner and return it as found.
b: Steal the person’s identity and live as them.
c: Locate the wallet’s owner and stab them with their license.

10. Your boyfriend proposes. You:

a: Tearfully admit that you’re already married but not opposed to polygamy.
b: You say, “Honestly, we’ve had a lot of great times together but I just don’t see a future between us” thus breaking his heart… then you pick up the pieces of said broken heart, and stab him with it.
c: Say, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!”

To find your “Crazy” rating, give yourself 0 points for every A response, 1 point for every B, and 2 points for every C. Take that total and divide by two. You now have your crazy number.

Now, using your self-assigned hot number, find your position on the Hot/ Crazy scale. Remember, you want to find yourself located on the hot side, not the crazy side. If the results are not to your liking, please adjust your appearance or personality accordingly.

Taken from CBS's Barney Old Blog.

Poems in the Air!

LITTLE did I get from the moment we met,

that someday you’ll be my darling ANGI.

INVARIABLY expecting every moment when we are meeting,

to be as wonderful as a sunset in ETERNAL.

MARVELOUS as I see that you’ll always be,

melts my heart mercilessly in DECI.

CUTE smiles on your face gave you your grace,

always provided me with a savoring BREAK.

HEIGHTEN beauty with that red dress in duty,

got the attention of throngs that would never DECLINE.

LITTLE, petite, playful, and adorable,

you stand out most although friends I have MANY.

ONCE a stranger now a joy bringer,

you made my days as those plays of ROMEO.

ENDING this poem with cheers of eternal friendship,

I hope when we meet in the near future, you would call out, “Sean, it’s YOU!”

Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Are you willing to be mine,

My beauteous darling valentine?

Throughout this memorable period of time,

With nothing else but a blissful love sign?

 

I fell deeply into You,

Ever since I laid my eyes on You.

Off You became the apple of my eye,

Which I very much wonder why.

 

Now that You’ve found Your other soul,

My feelings for You gradually sold.

As I too found myself a lovely girl,

Whom I thought of as my precious gold.

 

In YOu came without a purpose,

As we chatted, our fondness surfaced.

Just as the love grows on a gradual pace,

YOu left me without a clue I could trace,

Distressed as off YOu abruptly raced.

 

Patching back seems to be fun,

But in fact, our relationship is done.

Facing the reality have got me depressed,

Until YOU came along and got it suppressed.

 

The moment we met was like a fairy tale told,

Centuries old but not a single mold.

Trust, that was fate deciding upon us,

But I was as a fool, unable to talk like Marcus.

 

I’m glad for what YOU’ve done,

As it weren’t YOU, we wouldn’t have such fun.

Jokes were cracked and laughter we share,

I hope this would be a relationship we could bear.

 

Although we are miles and seas away,

The close bond between us will never sway.

How I wished I’m just next door,

Ready to dance with YOU on that romantic dance floor.

 

Never shall I forget the moment YOU set me free,

With everything YOU’ve got that I could see,

Gracefully flying as though I’m a dove,

Awaiting for the moment they called love.

 

Are you willing to be mine,

My beauteous darling valentine?

Throughout this memorable period of time,

With nothing else but a blissful love sign?

 

 

Written with much love,

Sean

Brilliant Love Poem!

Here, I will be sharing one of the greatest love poems written by one of the brilliant writers – David Feinberg.

This poem is a perfect example of a geek poem that uses Mathematical formulae, put into beautiful verses that could win the hearts of girls at an instant.

Girls out there, beware of guys who’s trying to deceive you by plagiarizing this poem without quoting it and treating it as if the poem was written by they themselves. Enjoy :)

 

I fear that I will always be

A lonely number like root three

 

The three is all that’s good and right,

Why must my three keep out of sight?

Beneath the vicious square root sign,

I wish instead I were a nine.

 

For nine could thwart this evil trick,

With just some quick arithmetic.

 

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321

Such is my reality, a sad irrationality,

When hark! What is this I see?

Another square root of a three

 

Has quietly come waltzing by,

Together now we multiply,

To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer.

 

We break free from our mortal bonds,

With the wave of magic wands.

Our square root signs become unglued,

Your love for me has been renewed.

 

By

David Feinberg

Patience Is A Virtue

4 more long hours to fill the world with love.

It’s just a few hours later that girls will start receiving calls from boyfriends. It’s just a few hours later that wives will get a big surprise kiss from husbands who are back late from work. It’s just a few hours later that singles will be dreaming that someday during that time, they will seat side by side, hands in hands with their partner under the bright full moon and swear oaths that would never be broken. It’s just a few hours later, is the time where couples are looking forward to and anxiously waiting for – Valentine’s day.

This is the time where boyfriends and husbands have been saving up for. This is the time where couples savor every moment they spent together. This is the time where girls put on smiles on their faces as they receive flowers, teddy bears and chocolates from their boyfriends.  This is the time where single guys have long awaited for to impress the girls they admire. This is the time where love sparks brightly at every corner of the streets, brightening the darkness that spreads the sky with its thickening veil. This is the time of what they called LOVE.

I’m not surprise that most of my friends had meticulously planned a memorial daytrip with their girlfriends. I’m also not surprise that they are willing to spend a huge sum to win the hearts of their girlfriends. I’m even not surprise that this is the perfect timing to mend the broken hearts of theirs and compensate for what they had done wrong previously. But what does surprise me is that some people as in couples are treating Valentine’s day as just another ordinary day that would last for only 24 hours.

Anyways, I’m not here to suggest any kinds of “Brilliant” ideas as to buy CACTUS for your girlfriends. But I’m here to hope that everything will go fine and well for those couples out there tomorrow. Friendships are hard to come by but relationships are ten times harder than that. Savor every moment you have got and enjoy yourselves to the fullest. As for singles, it actually rocks to be single sometimes. (:

 

Here, I sincerely wish all of you,

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Friendship

What exactly is friendship?

Looking at the title of this entry and the starting question, you may think that "Hell, anybody in this world would know what's that."

But Hell no. I just read a complain letter written by some anonymous person to "Ask Aunty" in the monthly Reader's Digest, asking for solutions to his brittle friendship.

Obviously, he is well concerned about this friendship of his, while the other party does not.

I believe that anyone of you should have encountered some form of difficulties in life when it comes to friendship.

Why do we always get so confused and completely baffled by our friendships?

I heard of endless grumblings about others, we do. I, myself had been and am on sunken "ships". Why these things happen? How? Ever ask yourself those questions?

This is how God created man and this is how we were born to this earth as sons of God. We are unique in our own ways, having distinctive personalities that differ vastly from others.

We therefore view friendships in different perspectives. That is when complications occur.

Some people value friendships just a little too much. They are too afraid of losing them and are willing to do anything to get them back if they lose them.

Some idiots and heartless people treat friends like temporary "tools." They use them to see them through obstacles in life or to satisfy their needs, neglecting them when they are useless.

Some people are more than dumb to not know what are true friendships. They value the wrong ones, neglecting the ones who cared for them the most.

Couldn't be blamed. Maybe people are born that way, never knowing what they have now are the "golds" that many are yearning and searching for.

Time never waits for us. Time can never be recycled. Do what you can now to value those who treat you right and well. It's never too late.

-Friendships are hard to come by, why destroy them?-
-In a hope to be friends again.

Inspired

Do not FROWN over the things you lose,

SMILE because you once possessed it.

SMILE ALWAYS :)
HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY!
ENJOY~~

SEAN

dedicated to wei hoong

Ship of Dreams

Eager to know how we were caught in the midst of nowhere,

Looking like a desert on a day with intolerant scorching heat.

As uncertain and dubious as we were, and

In an attempt to find ourselves a shelter, we walked and walked,

Not knowing that we were pacing down an esplanade of memories.

Extemporaneously, words of concern were expressed with much sincerity,

Though, they were constantly beaten down with adamant refusal.

As helpless as I am, the only way is to protect and shelter you silently from afar.

Nine million pieces of broken glass piercing through my pounding heart was what

I felt, while watching you persevered in your efforts through obstacles of life.

Noble and amenable to kindness, your problems often reach unfathomable depth, and seeing you suffer from unbearable pains,

I decided to sacrifice every second of my life for you, to provide the wamth and comfort you needed.

Never stop waiting I shall, for your permission to bring me into your solitary life, and

Giving you the long lasting and never fading love you always yearn for. (Dreams 11)

D for Daring to Dream

Would any of you ever appreciate your dreams although some of you may find it hard to recall what you dreamt of after you had awaken from the warm and comfy bed of yours?

My Dreams, as beautiful and wonderful as ever.

Dreams, my second home, my fantasy land that projects all my inner desires.

Dreams, make my day.

Dreams, provide me with indefinite confidence although they are sometimes false hopes.

Dreams, draw me closer to my loved ones.

Dreams, showed me an avenue that allows me to escape from reality.

Dreams, had inevitably fused with my life as one ever since I was born.

And ALL Dreams, will soon come to life on the day you say ‘I Do.’

Just last night, you came straight into mine with a smile on your face. You told everyone that something that we held each other tightly. That moment again will be one of those wonderful moments that would find themselves carved on the walls of my mind.

Is that what I wanted? We’ll figure that out soon.

Thanks for everything :)

Sean

Puzzled with "It"

It has been awhile since I last dreamt about you,
I never stop contemplating our never lasting relationship.
As we thought that the bond we made never did work out,
I told myself profusely never to bother your life as much as I did.

At the time when I was thinking that "It" is almost ending,
You never fail to appear and reappear continuously in my Every dreams.
Telling me how much you want "It" to move on more than usual,
While occasionally informing me that you never knew how much I cared for you?

I feared that I had made the wrong decision for letting you go,
Forgetting that a great effort had been made to bring you into my solitary life.
I am willing to go through thick and thin with you if the decision made is right,
However your confessions to me never fail to baffle Every single bits of me.

P.s. "It" has been occurring for the past three consecutive days and I'm so confused, making you confuse too :)

A dream that never fades

Wonder how we got into that little wooden cottage,
Eight doors away from her father's.
It was during a dark freezing snowy winter that,
Grizzly bears had to hibernate in their caves.
Unaffected by the extreme weather,
All of us were having fun beside the little fire place.
Never realising it later that only both of us were left alone.
In reality we seemingly were,
Luckless, it was merely a dream that did not last for long.
Occasions when we frolicked in that cottage of memories were unforgettable,
Very much as well the moment I hugged you tightly in my arms,
Ensuring never to leave you ever again.
Your beauty shall never fade as I behold,
Over and over again but never get bored of,
Until someday I believe that my care for you shall be surfaced.