Love at First Sight - or Is It?

Another guest post by Desmond Ong -- probably the greatest guy on Earth besides Barack Obama...and well, David Beckham. *wink*

So, do you have those moments when you see that cun-ted girl or guy across the street that you know fall in love just at the first sight? Ever wonder how it happens? No, it's no cupid. It's more to chemistry and physics. ;-)

Disclaimer : This theory has yet to be proven yet as there is still some manipulated variables that have been affecting this theory.


Have you ever understand the word "falling in love"? Is it just that simple? Two arrows by the Cupid? Or time spent to understand each other? Is it really that simple?

A research from I dunno where said otherwise. It is believed there is no such thing as "love at first sight". Human bodies emit a strange wave called the infrared. Infrared is emitted from human bodies because of the human body temperature. Emission of heat energy causes the release of infrared waves from the bodies.

Infrared waves travel no more than a few meters away. When two similar infrared waves meet each other, the two waves will cause a special effect on the sources of the waves -- the human bodies.

For example, let's assume that Rory is the man and Fiona is the woman. Rory was waiting for the cab right in front of tens of thousands of people crossing by Times Square, Manhattan when he spotted someone that he knows instantly that that someone could be his love of his life.

That someone is Fiona, who never meet Rory before.

Let's look at this from another person's view. There are figuratively tens of thousands of people out there, but why did Rory only got attracted by Fiona? The answer lies in infrared waves.

Some researchers believe strongly that when two near-similar infrared collides, the sources of the infrared waves will be tie into an immediate bond. That's how love at first sight happens.

However, this might sounds like an "Awwww...." moment for the beautiful ladies out there who are still with me to this point, the human bodies' infrared waves CAN subject to changes. Should it change even a small amount of frequencies, the love between the couple will be shatter -- almost instantly.

This might sounds like a bullshit, but it does make sense if you think about it. Bullshit or not, your call.

GA102 (Gardening 102)

This subject is not transferable to all universities around the world except Hogwarts where it will be recognized as Botanical Gardening. Please be noted that this subject is a pre-requisite for all subjects, therefore, this curriculum is constructed with the pure reason to cheat off your money and lower your CGPA. The fonts are purposely scaled down so you don't read this.

One fine day, a man asked a gardener, "Hey Mr. Gardener, I wonder how did you plant the seeds properly?"

Mr. Gardener answered, "Sure young man. There are a couple of things that you need to know before you get started. You have to decide if you want to clear the bushes and weeds first or just trim them down."

The young man answered, "Aha."

"So, young man, do you like them trimmed or completely clear out?" the cheeky gardener asked.

"I think I like full bush", the young man smiled back.

"Full bush? Why full bush?", the gardener replied.

"It provides cushioning..." the young man replied.



Credits to Aaroni, Desmond and CBS' all time hit show, Two and a Half Men.

Gardening Tips - Desmond Ong

Credits go to CBS' Two and Half Men.

How to Plant Seeds
First you gotta make sure the soil is moist. To do that, stick your finger in the old Mother earth. If it comes out dry, just wipe out your hose and give it a good spray.

And then, carefully plant the seeds in the soil. Carefully? Why carefully? Because if you fling that stuff around, half of it is wasted.

If I Were a Girl - Desmond Ong

Another spam post by guest blogger, Desmond Ong. Play 'If I were a Boy' music by Beyonce while reading this song please.If I Were a Girl

If I were a girl even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I think is pretty,
And I go do my make ups,

And chase after boys
I'd kiss with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they get high for me

If I were a girl
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a boy
I swear I'd be a better woman

I'd listen to him
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause she's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a girl
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that I'm busy
So they'd think that I was doing my works

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that he'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a girl
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a man
I swear I'd be a better woman

I'd listen to him
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause she's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a girl
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a boy
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to him
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking him for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a girl

Desmond Ong - Picking Up Our Love

Brief introduction: This is a guest post by Desmond Ong. This is a song that was written by Desmond Ong and needs a piano to accompany the lyric. Ask Desmond to play for you if you wanna listen. (if you come crashing in the house)


Picking Up Our Love (monotone)

The breeze that brought us love,
The blossoming flowers of love,
The breeze that brought this unexpected love,
Suddenly all love songs become meaningful,

This is when I suddenly fall for you,
When I know we barely know each other,
But I promised you I will bring you good life,
Because I want a change,

Creating a good first impression,
Snipping off the ugly face,
Walking towards you and shaking,
I know I need your love or it's the end,

(chorus)
I can see why you are so attractive,
and that's why I need to pick up our love,
when I know where to start off,
That's when I know I will give you a kiss,
(ends chorus)

Warmness of summer came,
Pushing our hearts aside,
Holding your hands crossing the heavens,
I know it seems impossible,

But let's make our love invincible.

(chorus 1 time - monotone - flute)

Songwriter's note : simple, short song. Inspired by David Tao and Jolin Tsai's 'Marry Me Today' song from here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXm_JrfllWs

The Scale that Measures Girls

This is a guest post by Desmond Ong - a truly magnificent guy next door.

The theory of evolution alleges that humans evolved from monkeys. If we accept this “theory,” then we must also accept that over the course of millions of years, women have become more attractive, less hairy and infinitely crazier.

The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life.

Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Barnabus Stinson comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale.
1. You’re walking down the street and see Matt Damon. You:

a: Gawk from afar and let him pass unbothered.
b: Run up to him and beg to have his babies.
c: Stab him with a pen.

2. You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off. You:

a: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and do a random act of kindness.
b: Hold down your horn and scream obscenities.
c: Stab him with his own broken windshield wiper.

3. You see a kitten stuck in a tree. You:

a: Call the fire department and wait for professional help.
b: Climb up and rescue it, then take it home to join the 125 other cats you currently care for.
c: Stab it with a tree branch.

4. You’re on a date with a fellow and it’s not going well. You:

a: Explain to him you’re just not compatible and offer to split the check.
b: Start a small fire in the ladies’ bathroom thus evacuating the restaurant and ending your date.
c: Finish your decadent five-course dinner, then stab him with a lobster claw.

5. Your boss makes a pass at you. You:

a: Report it to human resources.
b: Go for it, then blackmail him for the rest of his natural life.
c: Stab him with his tie.

6. The barista screws up your double skim, half café, no sugar added caramel macchiato. You:

a: Drink whatever she gives you, so as to not create a scene.
b: Throw the scalding hot beverage into the barista’s face.
c: Stab her with a coffee cup.

7. It’s Christmas, a time of giving, charity, and joy. One of the Salvation Army Santa’s won’t stop ringing the bell in front of your apartment. You:

a: Thank him for doing the Lord’s work and give generously.
b: Tar and feather him from your fifth floor balcony.
c: Stab him with his bell, then steal his bucket.

8. Your grandparents are in town visiting. You:

a: Happily show them around town taking extra special care of them.
b: Berate them for the measly 12 bucks they gave you on last year’s birthday.
c: Stab them with their dentures.

9. You find a wallet in the middle of the street. You:

a: Locate the wallet’s owner and return it as found.
b: Steal the person’s identity and live as them.
c: Locate the wallet’s owner and stab them with their license.

10. Your boyfriend proposes. You:

a: Tearfully admit that you’re already married but not opposed to polygamy.
b: You say, “Honestly, we’ve had a lot of great times together but I just don’t see a future between us” thus breaking his heart… then you pick up the pieces of said broken heart, and stab him with it.
c: Say, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!”

To find your “Crazy” rating, give yourself 0 points for every A response, 1 point for every B, and 2 points for every C. Take that total and divide by two. You now have your crazy number.

Now, using your self-assigned hot number, find your position on the Hot/ Crazy scale. Remember, you want to find yourself located on the hot side, not the crazy side. If the results are not to your liking, please adjust your appearance or personality accordingly.

Taken from CBS's Barney Old Blog.